Ok I'm breaking some of my rules here, first off I'm talking
about my health and secondly I'm probably going to whine a little which
breaks my "don't be negative on your social media rule" and my "don't
talk about your health it has no place in business rule" but the last 8
weeks have been kicking my little felted but so I have to! I've almost written this so many times but chickened out because of "the rules" but I've been reading a lot lately and am beginning to think my rules are stoopid!
So a funny thing happened earlier this year, I'd closed all
my shops for Christmas and reopened them in the New Year but I just
couldn't get going. Over Christmas I had been hit with a virus that left
me passed out on a friends sofa on Christmas day with a temperature, a
hot water bottle and some fluffy slippers (Thanks Eva). I'm not going to lie Christmas was BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! To this day I have presents that were opened in a daze that I have no idea where they came from, who lovingly wrapped them or if they belong to me or Mr Felt (we share pretty much everything anyway so no biggie!) The tree came down early and I put off reopening my shops as long as possible.
I did reopen my shops and every order, every stab of the needle felt like a gargantuan effort, my arms felt like lead, my needles felt blunt... I felt blunt! I began to panic... Did this mean I didn't want to do my job anymore? I started reading blogs, books, everything about how to beat burn out, how to find your creative mojo, I bought a new planner and workbook for the year, I tried meditation (I can meditate... but I get bored and I can't breath thru my nose so I spend a great deal of time worrying that I can't breathe thru my nose) I tried everything I could think of... and then I went on holiday and realised that I can't holiday... I'm not good at it.
I'm failing at life... I can't even holiday properly! (My crazy brain wailed!)
Getting home feeling a bit more refreshed but still despondent at not being capable of relaxing I spent a day doing absolutely nothing, not beating myself up about it, just doing nothing except faffing on facebook, playing ridiculously repetitive games, watching videos of otters and eating homemade macaroni cheese with way too much cheese in it followed by eating too much fudge and singing out of tune in the bath... while Mr Felt went out with pals (he's social he needs people, I like people but in short controlled bursts and I like being able to take my bra off which I can't do in polite company)
And then I woke up today and thought "I know what I am doing wrong!" I realised I was trying to fix something by using new methods and neglecting the things I knew worked so I got out the giant pad and sharpies and hashed out a plan for the next month.
And I thought about it... I do feel better, but I'm not ok... and pressuring myself to get better isn't going to help. So I'm not going to... the next month will be taken at a different pace. I'll be looking after myself and maybe the business will just have to wait... or maybe not... these things have a way of working themselves out when you aren't looking.
Lets see what happens eh?
Any advice on beating burnout I'd appreciate it... I'll try anything!
(Oh and check out the only birds I managed to make in January! These are Eclectus Parrots, Male and Female)
xx
mel
